How Houston Brides Can Get Their Fiancé Excited About Wedding Planning
Photos taken by Heather Purvis Photography.
I recently had a bride tell me that her fiancé had no opinions about their wedding until their actual wedding day, and then it was all a little too late for that. I could relate. When my husband and I got married more than thirteen years ago, all he cared about was that he could pick the shoes he got to wear when he walked down the aisle.
This is a pretty common scenario for brides in Houston who do all the planning and their fiancé shows up looking disinterested or frazzled by it all. If you find that you are doing it all yourself, don't fret, you're not alone, and you don’t have to do it all on your own.
The key to successful fiancé wedding planning is not in making your fiancé love centerpieces or chair covers. Rather, it's determining how to enjoy the experience, make it a collaborative effort, and meaningful to both of you. When couples coordinate their wedding as a partnership, not only do they end up having a wedding party that accurately reflects both of their personalities, but they also build communication skills that will pay off in their marriage.
Your groom likely does want to be involved, he just may not know how to get in and what activities would be most suitable for him, depending on his skills and interests. If you present it the right way, you can make planning the wedding an activity that unites you as a couple while sharing your dream wedding.
Have an Honest Conversation About Wedding Planning Roles
The secret to planning a wedding together is the genuine sit-down talk of expectations, interests, and natural abilities. Schedule a peaceful evening when the two of you have the opportunity to sit and speak without interjection, over a late dinner at one of Houston's quaint restaurants or on a peaceful stroll down your favorite neighborhood street.
Begin by telling him that you're fantasizing about the planning process. Tell him what aspects of the wedding you're most excited about and what tasks overwhelm you. Then turn the question around and ask him the same. You might discover he's really enthusiastic about something that never even occurred to you, or he was unenthusiastic because he figured you'd do it all.
Delegate tasks according to one's ability and preference rather than resorting to outdated gender roles. If your fiancé enjoys live music, get him to organize getting the ideal band or DJ.
Houston Bride Pro Tip: Use Deluxe DJs. They make it easy and fun with suggested timelines and an app that helps you choose songs.
The best approach is to delegate tasks to your fiancé in areas where he can make a real difference or shine. When someone feels confident they can handle a responsibility, they’re much more likely to be engaged in the process.
Make Decisions Together on the Foundational Wedding Elements
While you will allocate certain tasks by interest and ability, some basic choices are up to both of you. Guest list, budget, choice of venue, and wedding theme determine the overall tone of your entire celebration.
These more in-depth conversations will have you and your team in synch. When you're deciding important things together, little things will just fall into place because you're operating off the same parameters.
Houston couples have an upper hand when it comes to selecting a venue; there are incredible options out there for every style and budget. Start tours of venues with Brandt 1910, where you will receive a stress-free, upfront tour as well as advice on how to plan as a couple. The vintage venue's history and warmth tend to make it easy for couples to envision their celebration more profoundly, and other planning decisions simply fall into place.
In these early negotiations, master the technique of compromise. If you want a country wedding and your fiancé wants the latest trends, discuss how you can combine the two. Practicing how to negotiate major decisions through these early negotiations will be an asset to your marriage years after the wedding.
Turn Wedding Planning Chores into Quality Time Around Houston
One of the top wedding planning pro tips for Houston brides is making tasks that have to be done into something fun to you will enjoy together. Instead of a wedding planning session as a wild scramble down a checklist of things to do, make it a romantic date night adventure and outing.
Take a look at Brandt 1910's most recent blog post on date night ideas to get some tips now where around Houston you can have a romantic date night. Cake tastings are dessert nights, sampling caterers can turn into taste tours, and venue tours are an opportunity to explore new parts of Houston as a couple.
Imagine a wine tasting evening for love to select your welcome wines. Visit neighborhood wine shops or restaurants with excellent wine menus and observe the ones you both adore. This approach turns a functional decision into a cozy experience that the two of you will love.
Gourmet tastings with potential caterers offer another opportunity to bond. Take these outings as special evening events where you will have an opportunity to discover new tastes with each other while making some key decisions regarding your celebration. For most Houston couples, navigating these events together gives them a sense of being on a team for their planning.
Give Your Fiancé Complete Ownership of Specific Wedding Planning Categories
Rather than making your fiancé help you with matters you have already started planning, opt for general categories on which he would have control from start to finish. This avoids you micromanaging while allowing him control over substantial chunks of your celebration.
Many Houston grooms are attracted to entertainment and music, food and drink offerings, transportation coordination, groom's men coordination, and honeymoon planning. These are all means through which they can focus on something that has a direct impact on the guest experience, but which is more traditionally aimed at male tastes and abilities.
Once you and he have sorted out what the areas are that he will cover, never call up repeatedly or give negative sounding feedback. It requires trust to make this succeed. Schedule time for weekly review time when he can report and seek input if necessary but otherwise leave him alone to do it.
This sense of proprietorship has a tendency to generate nice surprises. Most brides discover that their fiancé has some pleasantly surprising ideas that would never have occurred to them, or that he is even more particular and meticulous than they had calculated when working on projects that truly are a matter of passion to him.
Use Technology to Stay Connected and Organized While Planning Your Wedding
Modern wedding planning applications and shared online spaces allow couples to easily coordinate their activity as they work on different elements of their event. Share standard Google Docs for tracking vendors, budgets, and creating timelines.
Wedding planning apps help you to divide some of the tasks into making big-picture progress. If you're a spreadsheet person who plans from lists and your partner's a visual person by planning from mood boards, you can both plan in your best form of structure and communicate through your best medium.
Celebrate Wedding Planning Milestones
Wedding planning involves making hundreds of small decisions, and it's easy to get stuck on what's still left to be done rather than appreciate all you've been able to accomplish. Drag yourself out of the weeds to take a look at your fiancé's work and to toast as a couple to what has been done along the way.
When he accomplishes the hiring of the DJ, arranging transportation, or coordinating with the groomsmen, try to find something positive to praise about his effort. Praise and compliments make him want to do more for the planning of the wedding.
Make notable milestones into mini-celebrations; when you’ve paid off your venue, after you’ve saved for your photographer, or finishing your guest list. Those winning moments make milestones stay exciting and keep you remembering that you're both building something lovely together.
Make special dinners or mini-adventures part of your celebration schedule for these milestones. It will not only be fun to plan, but it will also create good memories attached to your wedding planning.
Here are some couple's reward ideas:
- A cozy date night at your favorite local restaurant. One of my favorites near Brandt 1910 is Ferso’s Authentic Mexican Cuisine
- A bottle of champagne or wine to celebrate the progress.
- A sweet treat run (ice cream, bakery stop, coffee date). You can never go wrong with a sweet empanada from Marini’s Empanada Kitchen right next to Brandt 1910 in Wallis.
- A Netflix binge night—guilt free!
Highlight Creating Your Celebration Jointly
The language you employ to discuss your wedding when you are describing it plays a huge role in determining how engaged to planning your fiancé will be. Addressing it always as "our wedding" and "our day" rather than "my wedding" or "my day" conveys that this celebration is shared by the two of you.
This shift in perspective has a bigger impact than words; it alters your decision-making, who you seek advice from, and how you can justify your plans to your loved ones and friends. If you continue putting the wedding in perspective as a community celebration, your fiancé is simply more engaged and cares about the outcome.
Remember that compromising with your fiancé doesn't mean giving up on your dream or losing your grip on your creativity. It's more like bringing your dream to a mutual dream that incorporates both of your personalities, hobbies, and aspirations for your life as a couple.
Building Your Ideal Houston Wedding Together
Having your fiancé assist you in planning your wedding makes your wedding and your marriage that much stronger. You are able to work on your communication, compromise, and have a wedding that is yours and his, too, by doing it together.
The answer to wedding planning with your partner is balance in being both separately responsible and team-oriented. Having open, honest dialogue about ownership, how you both make decisions together, and being responsible for some parts of it gives you the freedom to set up a process that unites your relationship rather than drains it of life.
Start today by asking your fiancé what he's most looking forward to about your wedding—then stand back and let him do his thing and get out of his way. You'll be amazed at the enthusiasm and ingenuity he'll bring to the task at hand when he feels respected and trusted as your wedding planning partner.
For Houston couples who would rather start planning weddings together, start with a venue tour that is conducive to teamwork and collaborative decision-making. The best venue will be a perfect combination of the two of you; setting the stage for all of those sweet decisions that come after.
Contact us for a Tour of Brandt 1910 to let us help you start the process.
(979) 217-1772
info@brandt1910.com
Looking for more inspiration? Explore our photo gallery, pricing details, or testimonials from happy couples who’ve walked down the aisle at Brandt 1910. #Brandt1910, #Brandt_1910
