What Houston Kids Think Wedding Traditions Are For (It’s Hilarious)
Photos taken by Paperbag Productions.
At Brandt 1910, a vintage wedding venue that is hidden just west of Houston, Texas, I've witnessed a lot of fairy-tale moments occur in our 1910-era walls. With two young children and two years of hosting weddings at Brandt 1910 under my belt, I've spent countless late nights in bed surfing the net looking for content that brings a little humor to my world. The most widely appealing things I notice getting passed around are entries that document the hilarious things children say. On wedding days at Brandt 1910, as I'm running around greeting vendors, resupplying bathrooms, and helping open up those doors just as the bride is about to start her procession down the aisle (my absolute favorite part of my day), I get to eavesdrop like a fly on the wall on children's explanations of wedding customs.
Weddings aren't just about the bride and groom; children bring happiness, honesty, and observations that reduce adults to hysterics. So I enlisted the help of some friends to help me discover what their children believe are normal wedding traditions. Their reactions were not disappointing, and I assure you that they will make you smile, too. Enjoy!
The Garter: "Is It a Slingshot?"
The garter ceremony is usually a jest—a light-hearted moment for the couple and their guests. But children view it through completely different eyes, turning this thin strip of lace into everything from a superhero tool to appliances for the kitchen. At Brandt 1910, we've had children explain to us that it's a "fancy rubber band for super important hair" and "something to make your socks stay up when you're dancing."
The Veil: "Her Invisibility Cape"
Seven-year-old Connor had the most logical explanation for bridal veils: "Oh! That's her invisibility cape so the groom can't see her before the wedding!"
His logic was actually quite good when you consider things. Children do think brides do look magical in veils, and to be honest, they're not mistaken. There is something magical about seeing a bride walk down the aisle at Brandt 1910, her veil flowing as she emerges like she has come from a fairy tale. Children always want to know if the bride can fly with it, which is understandable from their point of view.
The Marriage License: "Permission Slip to Kiss"
When 6-year-old Hannah saw the officiant with the marriage license, she cried out, "It's like a permission slip to kiss!"
The innocence of taking our most important legal document and reducing it to something so simple as a school note accurately characterizes how children see the world. They see the major ingredients—love, commitment, and yes, even kissing—without being burdened with the legal technicalities that plague adults.
The Unity Candle: "Birthday Wish for Marriage"
At a unity candle ceremony, 4-year-old Thomas said, "They're lighting it to make a birthday wish to stay married forever!"
His reasoning truly does get to the essence of the tradition. Weddings do feel like dreams coming true, and here at Brandt 1910, we've had the privilege to host many couples who have their dreams come true in our historic halls. Kids know that candles mean wishes, and what better wish is there than a lifetime of love?
The Sweetheart Table: "The Timeout Table"
Five-year-old Kassidy had her own theory about the sweetheart table: "That's the timeout table that the bride and groom sit at if they're talking too much."
Although adults know it's actually the best seat in the house; a romantic spot for the groom and bride to dine while viewing their party, Kassidy's assumption perfectly belonged in her world where too much talking during dinner often has consequences. In our venue, we love how the sweetheart table is a focal point, situated either by our large windows overlooking downtown Wallis or in the middle of our vintage ballroom.
The "Just Married" Car Sign: "Baby Alert System"
Eleven-year-old Sadie had her own logic regarding the decorated escape vehicle: "That's how people know to drive extra careful 'cause there's probably a baby in there already."
Kids think marriage equals immediate family, and it's priceless and reasonable from their perspective. They see the "Just Married" sign as a serious caution sign, and everyone is ultra-cautious around the happy couple.
The Wedding Registry: "Grown-Up Legos"
William, 4, explained wedding registries when asked about them, saying, "It's the list of things they have to use to build a new home. like Legos!"
His comparison is not wide of the mark; adult "Legos" just look a lot more like kitchen blenders, towel sets, and dining room suites. Kids understand that couples need things to build their life together; they just interpret "building" in a more literal way than adults do.
The Card Box: "Pokémon Card Trading Station"
Six-year-old Mae thought the wedding card box was for a different purpose: "That's where people trade their Pokémon cards."
Her logic did make perfect sense in her world where trading cards are big business. Seriously, though, weddings do kind of feel like this huge trade; love, gifts, laughter, and memories all being exchanged among friends and families.
The Bridal Emergency Kit: "Snack Attack Survival Kit"
When Lizzy, aged 5, saw the bridal emergency kit, she said, "It has snacks, Band-Aids, swords, and anything the bride might need in case the groom gets hurt!"
While sword theory is perhaps a bit dramatic, Lizzy's snack-and-Band-Aid hypothesis is not bad wedding planning advice. At Brandt 1910, we've discovered that preparing for anything can happen; wardrobe crises, hangry flower girls, is the secret to more efficient celebration.
Ring Bearer Pillow: "Rest Stop for Exhausted Rings"
Four-year-old Jase had the sweetest explanation of ring bearer pillows: "The pillow is there in case the rings get tired."
Nothing is sweeter than watching a preschooler gently protecting "sleepy" rings as he walks down the aisle. Jase's considerate concern for the rings' comfort is perfect to represent the sweetness that kids add to weddings, treating all aspects with care and sensitivity.
The Cake Topper: "Tiny Cake Security Team"
When asked about cake toppers, 8-year-old Kenzie explained, "It's a little couple who live on the cake. They keep it from falling over."
Her description of the cake topper as the cutest security team you'll ever see brings a whole new level to this timeless decoration. We've hosted weddings with everything from traditional bride-and-groom toppers to commissioned-made figures here at our facility, and now we'll never view them in the same way again.
Why Kids Make Houston Weddings Better
Children amaze us with happiness, laughter, and honesty that cannot be replicated by adults. What they say reminds us that weddings, despite all the ceremony and fanfare, are all about love, family, and new beginnings. Brandt 1910 is a kid-friendly venue where those unexpected moments end up being some of the most enduring memories couples receive from their wedding.
Children don't dissect customs or get caught up in wedding angst. They see the magic, the playfulness, and the love—just what weddings ought to be all about. Their honest comments often provide the humor that makes wedding movies so much better and albums full of genuine guffawing.
These humorous kid quotes are worthy of being caught and remembered. Whether they're spoken quietly at the ceremony, declared at the reception, or mentioned while preparing for the big day, children's views bring a touch of unadulterated happiness that makes any celebration special.
Creating Your Own Magical Moments
Your planning for your wedding should be as joyous as the wedding itself. If you dream of a venue that captures the elegance and the whimsy of weddings, where the laughter of children mixes with tearful happiness and spontaneous moments get recorded in memories, Brandt 1910 is your perfect venue.
Our historic venue west of Houston provides the ideal ambiance for celebrations that are intimate, family-oriented, and full of laughter. From our beautiful gardens where children can freely play to our large ballroom where dancing and joyful feelings flow, we've created an area where several generations come together to rejoice.
If you're planning your big day and you want a venue that celebrates both the elegance and the delightful surprises of weddings, we'd love to take you on a tour. Come by Brandt 1910 and learn how our historic charm and family-friendly atmosphere can make your wedding dreams come true—along with all the belly laughs that become the fondest memories years later.
Ready to take the next step in your wedding planning and tour venues? Contact Brandt 1910 to get started!
(979) 217-1772 (Call or Text)
info@brandt1910.com
Looking for more inspiration? Explore our photo gallery, pricing details, or testimonials from happy couples who’ve walked down the aisle at Brandt 1910. #Brandt1910, #Brandt_1910
